Shoot Your Shot Page 9
In 2016, Roy became the head coach of Nathan Hale High School in his hometown of Seattle, Washington. He led the team to a 29-0 regular season record and was named the Naismith National High School Coach of the Yeara tremendous honor for any coach, let alone a first-year head coach. Even though the need to retire from playing was hard for him, Roy found another way to have an impact on the courtin the form of coaching and working with youth.
At some point, we are all going to have to retire from situations that no longer accurately represent who we are and who we aspire to be. The longer you stay in a situation that stagnates you, the more likely you are to block the blessings that God has in store for you.
If you are unhappy, walk away. Leave. If you have given everything you have to someone or something and your efforts are unappreciated or unproductive, at that point you need to throw in the towel and pursue what it is that will bring your life joy and peace.
Easier said than done, right? Trust me, I know all about that, as you will soon find out. It’s tough to let go. Especially when we have become accustomed to and comfortable with the way things are. However, when you do walk away from something that no longer accurately reflects the person you want to be, you will gain a restored sense of self. A burden that has been weighing you down for so long will be lifted off of you and you will be able to exist in a space that brings you joy and peace. And, as a result, that which you truly want and will make you happy has no choice other than to show up in your life.
Back in 2011, I enrolled in a doctoral (PhD) program because I had a goal of getting the most formal education I could possibly attain in my field of study in addition to wanting to become a university professor.
Yeah, right. That’s a bold face lie.
I enrolled in the doctoral program solely because even after receiving my master’s degree that year, employers in my field still would not hire me. So, in order to further improve the likelihood of getting a job in my field (and to keep receiving a couple dollars per year for being a teacher’s assistant), I enrolled in the PhD program to become more attractive to prospective employers.
At the beginning of the second year of my doctoral program, I was extended a job offer in my field of study. But even after I began working for my new employer, I remained in the program. Part of me did not want to abandon something that I started. I didn’t want to be a quitter. Another part of me did not want to let down my family, advisors, friends, and those who looked up to me. I wanted to make other people proud. However, none of those reasons had anything to do with my own genuine desire to complete the program.
I completed my main objective (to get a job), yet because I refused to let go, I suffered internally and was unhappy for years. I was putting time, energy, and money into something I didn’t believe added any additional value to my life and that did not line up with my long-term plans. As a result, I was neglecting the things that I really wanted to do and that would be fulfilling.
Finally, after 6 years of going back and forth and in and out of the program, I exited the doctoral program for good. It proved to be one of the best decisions that I have ever made in my life. I was now able to put my time, energy, and money into my passions. I expanded the reach and scope of my nonprofit organization’s mentoring program. I started the ‘Shoot Your Shot’ blog. And I was able to put in the necessary time and effort to complete this book. Had I unhappily remained in the program, I would not have been able to do those things. My life is much better off after making the decision to let go of something that did not bring me happiness and that did not align with what I wanted to do with my life.
Be cognizant of when it is time to relinquish control, to let go, and to just leave it in God’s hands. Don’t waste away years of your life clinging to something that no longer fully represents you. Lean on your faith, knowing that God will not forsake you and that something greater is in store for you.
In your time of angst and uncertainty, what you need will be supplied to you. Separate yourself from anything that no longer allows you to be the best version of yourself. Only then can you begin to see the things appear in your life that will truly make you happy.
It’s difficult to give up. Especially because we’ve been taught since we were young to “never give up.” But if something no longer brings you happiness, or it causes you continual pain, and you’ve done the work to make things better to no avail, you have to let it go and move on.
Don’t lose everything, chasing nothing. Don’t block your blessings clinging to the past or to the things that do not bring any value to your life. If you continue to hold on to what could have been, you fail to open yourself up to what could be.
12
Your Health Is Your Wealth
Health is the most critical thing in our life. With your health anything is possible, without it you can’t do anything.
BILL WALTON
2-time NBA champion, 1978 NBA MVP, 2-time NBA All-Star, and a 1993 Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame inductee
Professional athletes have an expectation by their team’s front office, their coaches, their teammates, their agents, and their fan base that when they come into training camp before the regular season starts they are in shape and in good health. Being healthy and in shape prior to the start of the season are critical to players’ success because they have to be ready for the adverse effect that the grind of the regular season and possibly the playoffs will have on their bodies.
Unfortunately, some players come back from their summer vacations out of shape and heavier than their normal playing weight. They did not mind their health or what they were eating and are, hence, more susceptible to the prospect of injury because they are pushing their body to a point that it cannot withstand.
In the basketball profession, a player’s livelihood is dependent upon their health. By not being in good health, athletes are unable to perform at a high level and their inability to perform can result in them being benched, traded, or even cut from a team.
All of the principles and examples explored in the previous sections of this book can be utilized to help you accomplish your goals and live the life you’ve always envisioned. However, if you do not take care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, all of the insight you have gained from this book will be for naught. What you have absorbed and intend on applying to your life will mean absolutely nothing if you are not in good health. Think about it, how can you do the things you need to do in order to live a better life if you are not in a healthy space to effectively do so? You cannot. Maintaining good health is a critical factor in getting what you want out of life.
When you take care of yourself, you physically feel good and have a positive perception of yourself. You have a more optimistic outlook on life. You have more energy. You perform more effectively. You are motivated to complete the tasks that are critical to accomplishing your goals.
On the other hand, if you are in poor health, you may not have the strength, energy, or motivation to perform those tasks that are critical to the accomplishment of your goals. You cannot live your best life if you are tired, run down, maligned with illness, or unable to do anything constructive because of your physical standing. No person can do what is necessary to attain success or enjoy the fruits of their labor without being in good health.
Being healthy is not solely based on how you look. You can be thin, “big boned,” or muscular, and be healthy. You can also be unhealthy with those physical attributes. How you look is not the only determinant of your level of health.
As a society, we have begun to equate health and wellness with how one looks externally. And although one’s outward appearance may be an indication of whether or not a person is living a healthy lifestyle, appearance is not the end all be all.
You can consume toxic products, try extreme diets and weight loss plans, and even get procedures done just to look fit or appear to be in great shape. However, those methods are not necessarily healthy and will possibly
be at the expense of your long-term health and well-being. That is not maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle means being conscious of what you consume. It means staying active and exercising. It means drinking more water than you drink soda or juice. It means eating more vegetables than you eat junk food. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder or a vegan to be healthy but what you cannot be is sedentary and consume filth on a regular basis.
In a November 2017 Bleacher Report article, NBA stars such as Kyrie Irving and Damian Lillard, in addition to a host of other NBA players, were profiled to shine a spotlight on their change in diet. The players adopted a plant based-diet and made the choice to eliminate meat from their eating regimen. Although one would think that professional athletes would have a hard time adhering to a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle, primarily because they are on the road all the time and expend so much energy on the court, seemingly needing animal protein, the contrary is true. Their decision to “eat cleaner” has actually had a positive impact on not only their on-court performance but also, more importantly, how their bodies felt overall. The players featured in the article who have adopted vegetarian or vegan lifestyles reported having more energy, quicker recovery, and more restful sleep since giving up animal products for meals.[xvi]
By no means am I trying to convince you to become a vegetarian or vegan. I personally tried a vegetarian lifestyle for a few months and it just didn’t work out for me, namely because of the degree to which I travel. Would it work for you? Maybe, maybe not. That’s for you to determine. Some of you may prefer to eat meat. Some of you may not. What works for you works for you. The point I am trying to make when it comes to your eating is to be more conscious and selective of what you put into your body. You are what you eat and that is reflective in not only your appearance but also in your performance and your overall health.
Make the necessary adjustments to your eating habits and eliminate products that potentially have an adverse effect on your long-term health. Find the balance that works for you. Regardless of how many days you are in the gym, you cannot outwork a bad diet. Eat in moderation, only up until the point that you are content. Be disciplined. Treat your body with respect and love. Treat it like it’s the only one you get. Because, well, it is the only one you’re going to get.
Your health is also not solely dependent on what you eat, how much you weigh, or how often you exercise either. It also depends on your mental, emotional, and spiritual standing.
Do you struggle with anxiety or depression? Are you in an unhealthy, abusive, or dead-end relationship that is causing you to engage in destructive behavior? Are you going through something that is testing your faith in a higher power? Do some serious introspection. If you do not do regular inventory on yourself or your surroundings, you risk getting lost in negativity that can adversely affect your health. If your health is in jeopardy, so is your livelihood.
Whatever is jeopardizing your well-being needs to first be addressed and then eliminated from your life immediately. Choose life. Choose to feel good about yourself and optimistic about the prospects of your future. Do not let anything or anyone compromise your well-being. You only have one life to live, so make it as stress-free, rewarding, and abundant as possible. The only way to do that is to make sure you are healthy in all areas of your life. No one can take care of you, better than you. So do not neglect your own livelihood. What you eat, the information you consume, the people you interact with, all have an impact on your health. Rid your life of the things that adversely affect your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. Your health is paramount to living a fulfilled life.
One of my favorite commercials of all-time is the GEICO auto insurance commercial that featured NBA Hall of Famer and shot-blocking extraordinaire Dikembe Mutombo. In the commercial, a 7‘2 Mutombo runs around to different places with the sole intent to deny men, women, and children from shooting different objects into their respective makeshift basketball hoops.
What took the commercial to the next level of hilarity for me was that after blocking the objects, Mutombo would smile, wave his index finger from side to side, declare “no, no, no,” “not in my house,” or “not today,” laugh obnoxiously, and then run off to claim his next victim. (I’m going somewhere with this, I promise.)
With the same enthusiasm that Dikembe Mutombo protected those makeshift basketball hoops in the commercial, protect your own peace in a similar manner. (See, I told you I was going somewhere.) Keep that same energy. Reject, any and everything—things, endeavors, and people alike—that has the potential to adversely affect your health (mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical), your mood, your productivity, your outlook on life, your interactions, and how you perceive yourself.
One of our primary duties in life is to fend off negativity and to avoid bad energy. Scripture says, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. The first step in changing your own life and potentially the lives of others, is being at peace with yourself. Protect your peace. Your life, and the lives of those around you, depends on it.
You may be in a space where it’s necessary to talk to someone about all that is going on in your life. If what you have done on your own in regards to personal maintenance up to this point in your life has not helped you to improve your well-being, then seek out someone who can help you in a way that you have not been able to help yourself thus far. Stop living in the personal prison you have put yourself in, in order to save face for others who have no idea of the struggles that you have been dealing with.
There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable with another party and discussing the issues you are having in your life with them. It is misguided, however, if you do not seek out the help that you need. You cannot heal what you never reveal. Whether you talk to a significant other, family member, close friend, pastor, or a therapist, there is someone who can help you.
There is no weakness in admitting you are going through something and that you need help to get past it. Admitting you are not able to do something on your own exudes strength and courage. Only if you are in a good space and are in good health will you be able to live the life you have envisioned for yourself.
Take ownership over your life. Make the decision that nothing is more important than your physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being. That may sound selfish, but it is not. It is actually self-less. Taking care of yourself is the ultimate exercise of love. You can be of no benefit to anyone else if you are not in good health or do not have a positive perception of yourself.
Put your well-being first. Minding your health is, and should be, a daily exercise. So take the necessary steps to become healthy, in all areas of your life. Work out. Eat consciously. Rid yourself of negative influences. Meditate. Pray. Speak and think positively about yourself. Find an outlet to talk to. Be well on all fronts. And in all areas of your life. The groundwork for living your best life is having and sustaining good health.
END OF
REGULATION
Second Half Highlights
The game isn’t over just yet! We have a brief “Overtime” period coming up shortly but before we get to that, here are the “highlights” from the 2nd half of the book.
Success Leaves Clues
At some point in time, someone has accomplished a goal similar to the one you aspire to accomplish. Study them.
Mentorship is one of the greatest tools for success. Whatever avenue is available to you, actively seek guidance from those who are where you want to be.
There is always something you can learn from someone else that will put you in a better position to be successful in your endeavors.
Your Dream Is Only As Good As Your Team
Be selective of your interactions and whom you choose to spend your time with. Who you associate with has a profound impact on the direction your life goes in.
Align yourself with people who you can learn from and who push you beyond your circumstances. If you want to
elevate yourself, elevate your associations.
Surround yourself with people who have the same degree of aspirations for their lives as you do, who encourage you to become the best version of yourself, and who want to see you live your best life.
Overcome Adversity
Everything that happens in your life can be used to your advantage. The adverse positions you find yourself in are merely opportunities for you to grow.
No one has ever accomplished anything great without enduring hard times and overcoming obstacles. You are in good company.
Pushing past adversity makes you more resilient and prepares you to effectively handle hardship in the future.
Hold That L
Failure promotes growth and teaches us what it takes to win. Embrace the L.
Failure is inevitable when you do something for the first time and when you step out of your comfort zone. Succeeding 100% of the time is indication you are not pushing yourself hard enough.
When you know better, you do better. Through failure, you learn and grow. When you learn and grow, you mature.
Know When It’s Time To Hang It Up
Let go of the things you cannot change and that which no longer adds value to your life.
The longer you stay in situations that no longer bring you happiness, the more likely you are to block the blessings that God has in store for you. By holding on to what could’ve been, you fail to open yourself up to what could be.
When you walk away from something that no longer accurately represents the person you want to be, that which will make you happy has no other choice than to show up in your life.
Your Health Is Your Wealth
Maintaining good health is a critical factor in getting what you want out of life.
Your health is not solely dependent on what you eat or how you look but also depends on your mental, emotional, and spiritual standing. If your health is in jeopardy, so is your livelihood.